The end of the beginning

It's surreal to think that this is probably my last blog post from Rwanda, before leaving on Saturday.  Now that I am at the end of the 4 months, it seems like it's passed very quickly.  Too quickly!  I don't know if I'm ready to come home yet - I know I don't belong here long term, but I'm not sure where I fit in at home or what's next for me.  Part of me thought I would come to Rwanda on a trip of self-discovery, that I'd solve all my insecurities and go home a very different person with a fresh perspective on life and a new sense of purpose.  But I don't think experiences like this have an end point like that.  They're part of a process, part of a jounrey, and I think coming to Rwanda has been the beginning of the next stage of life for me.

My last couple of weeks in Rwanda have been fairly quiet: moving and stacking bricks, clearing grass for our last umuganda, I shared my testimony with some of the RDIS staff, visiting people, film nights, watching the sunrise, having a girls night for all the ladies we know here, and surviving the last church service (we left after 4 hours and the sermon hadn't even started by that point!).  Yesterday Rwanda celebrated 50 years of independence.  We celebrated it by doing washing, starting to pack, making presents and making the most of the African sun!

I've still not been sleeping that well (not helped by a rat in the ceiling, the gardener outside my window cutting grass at 4am this morning, and a couple of lizards using my suitcase as their trampoline... yes really!).  I'm also still getting some insect bites.  I'm determined to stop the bites before the weekend in order to avoid being greeted in Heathrow by a decontamination unit and a boiler suit to wear on the journey home.

It's hard to tell how my time here has impacted me - I think it's too soon to tell and I'm more likely to notice differences when I get back home (I hope I do anyway!).  I will miss Rwanda - the people I've met, the beautiful scenery, sunrises and sunsets, the food and the opportunities I've had here.  I'm going to miss the 4 girls I've been here with - Alice, Becca, Katie C and Sarah.  We get on so well and I've loved having their company.  However it will be nice to go home and have more independence, not be shouted at and followed because I'm white, and to have fewer cultural/ language misunderstandings.  And yes, I'm looking forward to my bowl of fruit and fibre with proper milk in the airport.  And to being an aunty again in the next week or so!

So I want to thank everyone who's been following my Rwandan adventure.  And to everyone who has commented on the blog or been in touch via emails, letters, text, facebook, my parents.  Also to those who have prayed for me.  It means so much to me to know that there are people who are interested in what I've been doing and have been thinking of me.  I hope to keep up with the blog when I get home, with reflections and hopefully news on the next step for me.

Prayer points

- For a great last few days in Rwanda

- For safety as we leave Rwanda - Becca travels to South Africa on Saturday morning, and Alice, Katie C, Sarah and I leave in the afternoon and get back to Heathrow at 7.15am on Sunday.  I then have a long drive back up to Stirling with mum and dad!

- That I'd settle back into life at home, but not get too settled!

- For guidance over the future and the next step to take

- That my time here would have a lasting impact on my life

Hope to see you all soon!!  Love from the slightly less frightened traveller. x