The trouble about blogging when things are going well is that it's easy to feel knocked sideways the next time you have a wobbly moment and wonder if you have spoken too soon. I received some lovely comments after my last post, which has been very encouraging. And it's not that anything drastic has happened, but a sharp reminder of a hurtful event has punched me in the stomach this evening. I could so easily slip back into that pit, falling right past the sign post 'this way for despair, self-pity and regret'. I'm doing my very best not to open the bar of chocolate that is sitting beside my right now (it's a present for a friend), but it would be much less effort to just open it and stuff my face.
The trouble with people is that we need them in our lives, but they can hurt us and we can hurt them. It's like going on the dodgems at the fairground. Even if you're driving as carefully as possible it's almost inevitable that you'll hit someone or have someone bump into you. Or feel the effects of a nearby collision.
Is the answer to wait until the ride is empty and then go on yourself? I don't think. In some ways I'd like to be in a place where I don't feel pain and hurt. But if you can't feel these emotions, then neither can you feel joy, love and some of the amazing moments that are dotted throughout our lives.
I could elaborate into cheesy analogies about needing a good co-pilot or making sure you wear your seatbelt.... But truthfully, I don't have the answers on how to get the right balance. And I think that's ok. I'm not sure any us do.
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