The idea

You may be shocked to know this, but I turn 30 next year.  I know, I know – I don’t look a day over 21...ish.  The days of hoping I wouldn’t get asked for ID have been replaced with being secretly pleased when I am.  Or slight mortification when the young whipper-snapper at the till tells me to ‘take it as a compliment’.

 

Recently I’ve had conversations with friends of a similar vintage about impending thirty-hood and the realisation that we are most definitely in our late twenties.  There should be a list of ‘You know you’re in your late twenties when...’  My personal list includes sometimes having to turn Radio 1 off because it’s just too noisy, feeling mildly appalled at what the kids wear these days, feeling too old to go into Topshop, and wondering if it’s time to start using anti-wrinkle cream.

 

Yes, I am dreading turning 30.  Most people aren’t that keen on the idea of getting older, and these milestone birthdays just seem to rub it in your face.  I’m quite sure that most people who are over 30 already would shake their heads at me, and offer little/ no pity.  But it’s all relative.

 

I’m sure I’ve written before about expectations.  When I was at school I had this plan as to how my late teens/ twenties would pan out.  It went something like this... Leave school, go to uni, graduate, get a ‘good’ job, get married, buy a house, have 2 kids and live happily ever after.  A little naive perhaps?!  I did graduate (eventually) and I do have a job, for which I’m very grateful.  But I struggle to come to terms with the disappointments and hurts of the past decade.  I tend to think about the challenging times, rather than remembering all the good things that have happened, the friends I have made, the things I have achieved.

 

I’ve found the past few months particularly difficult, for a variety of reasons.  But as I sat in a coffee shop today wallowing in self-pity (a bad habit of mine – the self-pity that is, not sitting in coffee shops), I made a decision.  I don’t want to spend the next 11 months looking back with disappointment and forward with dread.  Instead I would like to take a step towards making peace with my twenties and embracing my thirties.  So I’ve decided to make a '30 things to do before I’m 30' list.  I know it’s a bit of a cliché and I don’t anticipate that this will instantly solve the disappointment/ dread issues.  But I hope that it will give me a bit of perspective, some much needed motivation and the chance to have some fun!

 

This blog was initially started to record my travels to Rwanda in 2012.  I’m still a 'frightened traveller' in many ways.  If no one reads this, that’s ok – I like blogging as a way of keeping a record.  If there is anyone reading this, I’m open to suggestions on what I should include on my list.  I’m not quite sure what this is going to look like, and I know it’s certainly not a new idea, but it’s something I really want to do.

 

I better get writing that list... 331 days and counting!