Happy New Year!
If you had told me this time last year what the next 12 months had in store, I don't think I would've believed you. It was a year of amazing highs and almighty lows. The best and worst year I've had for a long time, and in many ways I'm glad to see the back of it.
I know I'm not the only one who struggles with this time of year. There's something about reflecting on the past and making resolutions and plans for the future, that just puts me on edge. I'm a naturally pessimistic person (unfortunately), so I know my reaction is more likely to focus on the negatives. I have a friend who described New Year as an exciting time. Interesting how the same event can provoke such different responses.
I've realised over the past month that I've spent a lot of my life looking behind me with regret and disappointment, or looking ahead with worry and nervous anticipation. When did I stop living in the present? When did I forget how to enjoy the moment? How do I retrain my brain into having a more balanced and positive view of life?
Is it possible to reach a point where you've sorted your life out and feel confident about the kind of person you are and the choices you make? I know myself better than I did 10 years ago, and feel that I've figured out quite a lot about myself. And yet I still make so many mistakes, say and do the wrong thing, so often feel uncertain about the kind of person I want to be, or the person I should be. Is life a moving scale of 'figured-outness' rather than reaching an end point?
Today marks 3 months until my 30th Birthday. I've only completed 8 out of 30, although do have about 10 more underway or planned. I'm still not feeling that great about the prospect of entering my thirties, but I hope I can change that in the next few months. I'm not going to make specific new year resolutions for 2015, but will keep working through my list.
So here's to 2015 - and hopefully a happier, healthier and more positive year.
New Year in snowy Sheffield
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