This is replacing the original thing I had on my list, which was do a 5k. I'd still like to do a 5k one day, but I just don't feel up to it at the moment and probably wouldn't enjoy it. So instead I decided to treat myself to a bunch of flowers!
I've struggled with comfort eating a lot over the past decade - eating when I feel down, as a reward for having a good day, or when I feel bored and unmotivated. It's a vicious cycle to get into, and hard to break. I've recently taken up swimming again (ok, I've been twice, but that's a big achievement for me). This time it's not about getting fit or trying to be the best or fastest, it's about doing something because I enjoy it and I feel good when I do it. And I guess the flowers represent something similar - I don't want to be stuck in bad habits to try and make myself feel better, but want to learn how to be good to myself. 'Good food' doesn't have to be edible.
These are from Petals Florist on Crow Road in Glasgow.
At last I have managed to finish reading through the 27 books in the New Testament. For me, reading the Bible is a bit like eating salad. You know it's good for you, but it's often very hard to feel motivated to do it and stick at it.
In many ways I have more questions and feel more confused about my faith now, than I did 12 months ago. I think this is probably a reflection of where I am in life at the moment, but it's a bit disconcerting. It's hard to admit as a Christian that I have doubts. Or that I often don't feel close to God, I regularly don't feel like praying, and when I do I usually say something quick and don't wait around long enough to hear if God is going to say anything back. I struggle to understand or relate to a loving God, and instead am fearful of condemnation, anger and unforgiveness.
I guess I need to try to hold on to verses like these:
For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love and self-discipline. 2 Timothy 1:7
The thief's purpose is to steal and kill and destroy. My purpose is to give life in all it's fullness. John 10:10
He comforts us in our troubles so that we can comfort others. When others are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us. 2 Corinthians 1:4
Can anything ever separate us from Christ's love? Does it mean he no longer loves us if we have trouble or calamity, or are persecuted, or are hungry or cold or in danger or threatened with death?... No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us. And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from his love. Death can't, and life can't. The angels can't, and the demons can't. Our fears for today, our worries about tomorrow, and even the powers of hell can't keep God's love away. Whether we are high above the sky or in the deepest ocean, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:35, 37 - 39
So, that's me completed 20 out of 30 things on my list. I finally feel like I'm getting there with it, which is a relief. Although I do wonder what I'm going to do with myself once it's all over...
No comments:
Post a Comment