The list!

I've had a really busy couple of weeks, and have been deliberating what to include on the final list, but I think it's time to get on and publish it.  With the idea of giving the list a bit of structure, I decided to divide it roughly into 6 categories: life/ general, travel, learning, creative, get active and activities.

So here it is... my 30 before 30 list!

1. Volunteer for a good cause

2. Read the New Testament

3. Write down 30 good memories/ achievements from my twenties

4. Read a new book every month

5. Take a months break from Facebook

6. Go on a road trip around Scotland

7. Have a weekend city break somewhere in Europe

8. Fly first class

9. Fly in a helicopter

10. Go on a hot air balloon ride

11. Do an evening class in something I haven't tried before

12. Take up piano again and learn to play 6 new songs

13. Learn to play the ukulele

14. Read the instruction manual for my camera and finally learn how to use it properly

15. Learn to make a stop frame animation

16. Do a 30 day photography project

17. Make an item of clothing for myself

18. Do something arty that I've never tried before

19. Make something new on my sewing machine every month

20. Upcycle 2 things from a charity shop (non-textiles)

21. Lose 1 stone

22. Do a 5k

23. Climb a munro

24. Try snowboarding again

25. Get a massage

26. Get a make up lesson

27. See a band I've never heard of before

28. Go to a ballet performance

29. Try an unusual type of food

30. Do something fun to celebrate my 30th!

I've made a start on a few things, but will keep blogging about my progress over the upcoming months.  If I was really cool, I would start one of these hashtag things - #KT30:30

*Disclaimer: Hopefully I'll be able to stick to this list, but if it looks like something is really not going to be achievable, I am going to give myself the option of changing a couple of things!

Some ground rules

As soon as I hit 'publish' on my blog post last night, I slightly regretted it.  Maybe this is a stupid idea, people will think it's cheesy, now that I've made it public I can't go back on it etc.  But I still posted a link to the blog on Facebook today, and actually I feel better already for having a project on the go.  Something to focus on, which will hopefully help me to feel a bit more motivated about life again.  And people have been really positive about the idea so far!

 

There are a lot of '30 before 30' lists out there already.  Some people seem to have started when they turned 25.  Given I have less than 11 months to go now till my birthday, I think it might be slightly unrealistic to include items such as 'get married' or 'write and publish my first novel'.  I'm also not that keen on some of the more vague ideas I've seen, for example learn to accept myself as I am.  Some things take longer than 11 months. 

 

So I've decided to set myself a few ground rules.  Nothing too strict, just a few things to help me at this initial stage.

 

1. The list can't include anything I was planning on doing already this year (eg. go to China, get my first credit card) - that would be too easy!

2. I'd like the items on the list to have goals/ final outcomes rather than being open-ended.  Something I can quantify or take a photo of.  I like being able to tick things off a list knowing that they've been completed.

3. A good number should be fun things!

4. But I also want to have some challenges in there too - I'm a great believer in pushing myself out of my comfort zone every now and then.

5. I want to involve other people as much as I can.  Because it's good to share, and that will help with number 3.

 

:)

The idea

You may be shocked to know this, but I turn 30 next year.  I know, I know – I don’t look a day over 21...ish.  The days of hoping I wouldn’t get asked for ID have been replaced with being secretly pleased when I am.  Or slight mortification when the young whipper-snapper at the till tells me to ‘take it as a compliment’.

 

Recently I’ve had conversations with friends of a similar vintage about impending thirty-hood and the realisation that we are most definitely in our late twenties.  There should be a list of ‘You know you’re in your late twenties when...’  My personal list includes sometimes having to turn Radio 1 off because it’s just too noisy, feeling mildly appalled at what the kids wear these days, feeling too old to go into Topshop, and wondering if it’s time to start using anti-wrinkle cream.

 

Yes, I am dreading turning 30.  Most people aren’t that keen on the idea of getting older, and these milestone birthdays just seem to rub it in your face.  I’m quite sure that most people who are over 30 already would shake their heads at me, and offer little/ no pity.  But it’s all relative.

 

I’m sure I’ve written before about expectations.  When I was at school I had this plan as to how my late teens/ twenties would pan out.  It went something like this... Leave school, go to uni, graduate, get a ‘good’ job, get married, buy a house, have 2 kids and live happily ever after.  A little naive perhaps?!  I did graduate (eventually) and I do have a job, for which I’m very grateful.  But I struggle to come to terms with the disappointments and hurts of the past decade.  I tend to think about the challenging times, rather than remembering all the good things that have happened, the friends I have made, the things I have achieved.

 

I’ve found the past few months particularly difficult, for a variety of reasons.  But as I sat in a coffee shop today wallowing in self-pity (a bad habit of mine – the self-pity that is, not sitting in coffee shops), I made a decision.  I don’t want to spend the next 11 months looking back with disappointment and forward with dread.  Instead I would like to take a step towards making peace with my twenties and embracing my thirties.  So I’ve decided to make a '30 things to do before I’m 30' list.  I know it’s a bit of a cliché and I don’t anticipate that this will instantly solve the disappointment/ dread issues.  But I hope that it will give me a bit of perspective, some much needed motivation and the chance to have some fun!

 

This blog was initially started to record my travels to Rwanda in 2012.  I’m still a 'frightened traveller' in many ways.  If no one reads this, that’s ok – I like blogging as a way of keeping a record.  If there is anyone reading this, I’m open to suggestions on what I should include on my list.  I’m not quite sure what this is going to look like, and I know it’s certainly not a new idea, but it’s something I really want to do.

 

I better get writing that list... 331 days and counting!

Adventure is waiting

I've been living in Glasgow again for 8 months now.  It's taken me a lot longer to settle here than I anticipated, but thankfully I do feel a lot better now than I did at the start!  It's been a bit of a roller-coaster of a year so far - I've faced quite a lot of fears and difficult situations, but have also found good in unexpected things. 

 

One of these things has been having the luxury of time to be more creative (an advantage of being a part-timer).  I graduated from art school just over 3 years ago now, and have really struggled to come to terms with the experience and how it left me feeling about myself and my ability to create.  Perhaps it's unfair to blame my lack of productivity entirely on my time at uni, but I still find it very hard to make anything for fear of being judged and criticised by others and not living up to their (or my) expectations.

 

However, I'm pleased to say that I've taken a big step forward and have restarted my art blog, which shows some of the things I have been making over the past few months.  I'd love (ok, perhaps not love, but I'd be secretly pleased) for you to have a look at it: www.katiesmithtextiles.blogspot.com  It's quite scary for me to make my artwork public again, but I'm trying to embrace it and use the blog as motivation to keep going!  As with this blog, feel free to add comments.

 

I bought this card from Paperchase the other day... I guess I don't want to wait anymore!

 

By Kelly Hyatt

 

The view from my window the other night - who doesn't love a good sunset?!

To sunset

As well as fantastic sunrises, Rwanda had some beautiful sunsets.  In Rwanda the sun sets at around 6.30pm everyday and gets dark very quickly.  I loved that this stayed constant, meaning we could tell it was time to go home for dinner by what colour the sky was - who needs a watch!  There was something about that combination of sun, sky, hills, colours and silhouetted trees... I loved it and could have taken so many more photos than I did, and still not been able to capture it. 

 

 

This last photo was taken on our final night in Cyakabiri.  We sat on Zion hill with some of the local kids and watched the as the sun went down, then the sky got brighter and a path-like strip of blue appeared.  It felt so meaningful and emotional.  It makes me feel emotional looking at it again now!

From sunrise...

On Easter Sunday and on our last Sunday in Rwanda, we got up about 5.30am and walked to the top of Zion hill to watch the sun rise.  It was really special, sitting on the steps of Zion church and watching the sky change from blues to pinks, then orange to yellow.  I was always amazed at how peaceful it felt sitting there, despite all the different noises you could hear - traffic, children, animals, the youth technology project, choir practice in the church.  Even at dawn, there was the buzz of insects and birds, and the occasional Rwandan wondering what on earth these crazy muzungus were up to now.  I like to close my eyes and think about the view from Zion hill (cheesy I know).  But it helps me to remember that it was real - that I did it, that I was really there, and that it's not just some distant memory.  My time in Rwanda feels so much more special and significant now, than when I first got back.  It's been great to be able to look back over these photos and share them with people - I hope it makes it more real and tangible for you!

 

Safari in Akagera

In June we went on a safari trip to Akagera National Park, over in the east of Rwanda.  This was an incredible experience.  It's one thing seeing these animals in a zoo, but it's so much better and more exciting seeing them in their natural habitat!  We were allowed to get out of the van at one point, and it was amazing to be a just a few metres away from a mother and baby giraffe.  They seemed so relaxed, stopping to have a look at us before casually wandering off into the distance.  I will never forget the feeling of standing on that savannah, seeing these majestic (if slightly gangly!) creatures and thinking 'wow, I'm in Africa!' 

 

Me and a buffalo skull!

Baby giraffe - I wanted to put it in my pocket and take it home with me!

Heading off into the savannah

Wildlife

On a lighter note, Rwanda certainly had some interesting wildlife!  Birds of various sizes and colours, lizards (including ones that liked to jump on my stuff at 2am), monkeys...  The worst was probably the insects that occasionally invaded our rooms during a rainstorm.  They just seemed to appear out of nowhere, fly straight at your face and then continue to wriggle around even after being battered to the ground with whatever book was nearest (often a Bible, redefining the term 'Bible-bashing').  My catch phrase became 'shut the door, you'll let the beasties in!!'

 

Chameleon

Monkeys in Butare

The only monkey we saw in Nyungwe forest

 

I loved these birds - they could teach me a thing or two about making tall look graceful!

A wee nest just outside our room.  The mother bird liked to swoop at us if we got too close!

Nyungwe and Kigeme

Rwanda may be a fairly small country, but journeys can sometimes take a while given the twisty roads and hills.  In our month of travelling we spent quite a lot of time in our minibus with our driver Freddie (how he coped with us 5 girls, I don't know!) and I think the best of these long journeys was going through Nyungwe forest on the way to and from Cyangugu.  It's like another world, with trees as far as you can see, dramatic skylines, the buzz of insects, roadworks, landslides, monkeys...  As I wrote at the time, I spent a lot of the journey through Nyumgwe leaning out of the window taking it all in and listening to some good music on my ipod.

 

Amazing sky

Banana break

Nyungwe forest

Kigeme was our next and final stop in our month of travelling.  I survived more teaching, this time doing lessons on conjunctions in a high school and triangles in a nursery.  We also visited a hospital, a hydroelectricity plant, went to Rwanda's version of X Factor, played basketball, carried bricks and planted potatoes.  The realities of life for many Rwandans hit home when we visited a lady who was really struggling to provide for herself and the 3 children and grandchild who lived with her, and who had next to nothing in her house.  She worked in fields for other people when she could, but had hardly any money and couldn't afford the health insurance for herself or her family.  It was upsetting and felt so unfair that I could just drive away and go back to my cosy, comfortable life.  Where is the justice in your place of birth having such an impact on your life?  As I sit in my nice room, with my laptop and other 'things' around me, I still feel unsure how to respond to this.  The pursuit of justice and challenges faced by those living in poverty can be overwhelming.

I'm still amazed by the beauty of the Rwandan hills - honestly, these photos do not do it justice!

 

Rwanda Superstar!

 

Some local kids enjoying the show (the wee lad on the right has a chicken tucked under his arm!)

Hydroelectricity plant

Who needs health and safety anyway?!!

Cyangugu

After Butare, we headed south west to Cyangugu, down by the border with the DRC and Burundi.  I think I had some of my most challenging experiences here, in terms of the activities we were doing and how I was was feeling personally.  I often felt totally inadequate and invisible (and that's saying something given how much I stood out as a white person).  At times I felt judged for being a quiet person and found it very difficult to get over my shyness.  Going into schools and leading assemblies with singing and a drama was also not my idea of fun!  But despite feeling intimidated, I managed it (hugely helped by being with the other girls) and can look back now and say I did it.  It's the same with teaching - I found it so tough and stressful but I got through it every time.  It's helped me to feel just that wee bit more confident about myself.

 

Cyangugu definitely had some highlights too.  Our friend Ilva (who was in Rwanda for a year and lived down the road from us in Cyakabiri) joined us for our time in Cyangugu and fitted right into the team - it was great to have her with us.  I enjoyed seeing more of Rwanda and spending time down by Lake Kivu.  I felt humbled by a woman we met who prayed big prayers with complete faith.  And I loved taking part in umuganda (the community day) where we moved rocks and stones to make a new church foundation.  It was so good to do something practical and helpful, and to be able to show that I wasn't a total wimpy white girl after all!

 

On the border

Looking over to DRC

Hot springs!

The house we were staying in, complete with a veranda for eating breakfast or playing games of ligretto on.

Sarah, Ilva, Becca, Alice and Katie C.

The Rwandan flag with the hills of the DRC in the background

Lake Kivu

Our gift from the Bishop on behalf of the diocese - some beautiful fabric!

(last photo by Sarah)